Enhancing one’s ability to think on one’s feet
Hello, dear readers! Today I want to discuss a topic that has been on my mind lately — how to think on your feet when having difficult conversations.
The context: Challenging capacity assessment
As part of my role as an RPR, I requested a part 8 review of the authorisation for Deprivation of Liberty Safeguards (DoLS) for a client of mine. The basis for the request was that the mental capacity assessment had not been properly conducted, and therefore, my client’s rights were being infringed.
A few days after submitting the request, I received an email from the DoLS team asking me to justify my concern that the mental capacity assessment was not met. I felt patronised and like I was being gaslighted. I had clearly outlined my concerns in the request, but it seemed like the DoLS team was being defensive and putting the issue back on me.
The mental capacity assessment is a crucial component of the DoLS process. It is used to determine whether an individual has the mental capacity to make decisions about their care and treatment. If an individual is found to lack capacity, decisions about their care and treatment must be made in their best interests. The mental capacity assessment is a key safeguard to ensure that the individual’s human rights are being protected.
In my client’s case, he was deemed to lack capacity because the assessor concluded that he was not able to use or weigh the relevant information. The reasoning that was given was that my client was not able to appreciate the nature of the decision. However, I pointed out that the assessment did not address all the required elements, and therefore, it had not been conducted properly.
The main flaw was that the assessor had only asked one question to determine whether my client could weigh the relevant information, which does not seems adequate considering the potential impact it has on one’s liberty. According to the Mental Capacity Act 2005 Code of Practice, weighing up information involves an individual’s ability to compare and evaluate the information relevant to a decision in order to arrive at a reasoned decision. This involves considering the pros and cons of different options and assessing the likely consequences of different courses of action. The assessor only ask one question and conclude that my client fails to weigh the relevant information on this basis. How can that be adequate?
Aside from this, a more interesting observation is that I found myself struggling with the prospect of having a difficult conversation with my manager about this issue. I worried that I would not be able to think on my feet and respond effectively, and that I would feel like a failure if I got told off. Therefore, I decided to write this blog post to reflect on my experience and think about how I can build my confidence and communicate assertively in difficult conversations.
Thinking on one’s feet
Before thinking about strategies, I thought I speak to ChatGPT and picked his brain. He said that the inability to think on one’s feet can be due to the lack of preparation, confidence, practice, and anxiety and stress. So, in this post, I want to develop strategies addressing these four factors.
Preparation
This would involve thinking through potential scenarios and considering how I might respond to each one. I would ask myself what would my manager say and do, and prepare a response to them. By having a plan in place, I feel more in control and confident in my ability to handle any situation that arises.
Anticipation: Your manager could acknowledge your criticism and thank you for bringing it to their attention.
Response: Express gratitude and ask for more information on how they plan to address the issue.
Anticipation: Your manager could agree with your criticism and share their own concerns about the issue.
Response: Ask for their input on potential solutions and collaborate on a plan of action.
Anticipation: Your manager could disagree with your criticism and provide evidence or an explanation for their perspective.
Response: Ask for more information or evidence supporting their perspective and share your own.
Anticipation: Your manager could apologize for any mistakes or oversights and commit to taking corrective action.
Response: Assert your concerns and the importance of addressing the issue, and ask for their support in doing so.
Anticipation: Your manager could question the validity or accuracy of your criticism and ask for more information or evidence.
Response: Provide additional evidence or clarification, and seek to understand their perspective.
Anticipation: Your manager could feel attacked or defensive and respond with anger or frustration.
Respond: Remain calm and professional, and try to redirect the conversation back to the issue at hand.
Anticipation: Your manager could agree with your criticism but feel unsure about how to address the issue within the organization.
Response: Offer to work together to find a solution, and suggest potential avenues for addressing the issue.
Anticipation: Your manager could feel overwhelmed or stressed by your criticism and struggle to respond effectively.
Response: Remain calm and empathetic, and offer support in finding a solution that works for everyone.
Anticipation: Your manager could be dismissive of your criticism and minimize its importance or impact.
Response: Assert the importance and validity of your criticism, and provide additional evidence or information to support it.
Anticipation: Your manager could suggest collaborating with you to find a solution or working together to address the issue.
Response: Express enthusiasm for collaborating on a solution, and suggest potential ideas or avenues for addressing the issue.
Build confidence
Another potential cause of difficulty thinking on one’s feet is a lack of confidence. If we do not feel confident in our abilities or in our position, we may struggle to speak up or assert ourselves during conversations or meetings. For me, I have found that when I am feeling particularly anxious or unsure of myself, I tend to struggle with thinking on my feet. To combat this, I am focusing on my strengths and past successes, using positive affirmations to reinforce these strengths and to help me stay focused on my goal. By doing so, I hope to feel more confident in my abilities, which will hopefully lead to improved communication and a more successful outcome.
Practice using “I” statements
A lack of practice can also contribute to difficulty thinking on one’s feet. If we do not regularly engage in conversations or meetings that require quick thinking and effective communication, we may struggle when we are put in those situations. For me, I have found that when I am not regularly practicing these skills, I tend to struggle with thinking on my feet. To combat this, I am actively seeking out opportunities to engage in conversations and meetings that require quick thinking and effective communication. I would even prepare scripts to help me out.
Your colleague becomes defensive and dismisses your criticism.
- “I feel like my concerns aren’t being heard or taken seriously, and I’d like to work together to find a positive resolution.”
- “I appreciate your perspective, but I still feel that there are issues that need to be addressed, and I’d like your support in doing so.”
Your colleague is receptive to your criticism, but unsure of how to proceed.
- “I appreciate your willingness to hear my feedback. Moving forward, I’d like to have more autonomy in how I approach this project to ensure that it is done in a fair and ethical manner.”
- “I hear your perspective, but I still feel that there are issues with the way the assessment was conducted. I’d like to work together to find a way to address these issues.”
Your colleague becomes aggressive or confrontational.
- “I understand that you may feel frustrated, but my goal is not to criticize you personally. I’d like to work with you to find a solution that works for everyone.”
- “I appreciate your input, but I need the freedom to make my own decisions about how to approach this project.”
Your colleague is dismissive or patronizing.
- “I understand that you may not see this as a major issue, but I feel strongly that it needs to be addressed. I need your support in finding a positive resolution.”
- “I appreciate your feedback and suggestions, but I need to be able to make my own decisions about how to approach this aspect of the project.”
Your colleague is understanding and supportive of your criticism.
- “I appreciate your support and willingness to work together to find a solution.”
- “I feel like we’re on the same page about the issues that need to be addressed, and I look forward to working with you to find a positive resolution.”
Your colleague offers a counter-criticism in response.
- “I hear your perspective, but I still feel that there are issues with the way the assessment was conducted. I’d like to work together to find a way to address these issues.”
- “I appreciate your feedback, but I still feel that there are concerns that need to be addressed. I’d like to work together to find a positive solution.”
Your colleague agrees with your criticism, but doesn’t know how to approach the issue with their supervisor.
- “I appreciate your agreement, and I’d like to work with you to find a way to address these issues. Moving forward, I’d like to have more autonomy in how I approach this project to ensure that it is done in a fair and ethical manner.”
- “I understand that you may not know how to address this issue, but I’d like to work together to find a positive resolution.”
Your colleague keeps asking questions with the aim of making you feel less than.
- “I feel like the tone of the conversation is becoming adversarial, and I’d like to work together to find a positive solution.”
- “I hear your questions, but I need the freedom to make my own decisions about how to approach this project.”
Your colleague interrupts you or talks over you.
- “I feel like my perspective is not being heard, and I’d like to work together to find a positive resolution.”
- “I understand that you may have questions or concerns, but I need to be able to express my perspective fully.”
Your colleague is unresponsive or disengaged during the conversation.
- “I feel like my perspective is not being heard or acknowledged, and I’d like to work together to find a positive resolution.”
- “I appreciate your willingness to hear my concerns. I feel like I need more support in finding a positive resolution to this issue. Can we discuss this further at another time?”
Control your anxiety
When we are feeling anxious or stressed, our brains may be more focused on survival than on effective communication, leading us to struggle with thinking on our feet. For me, I have found that when I am feeling particularly anxious or stressed, I tend to struggle with thinking on my feet. To combat this, I am focusing on taking deep breaths and staying grounded in the present moment, which can help to reduce anxiety and build confidence. I am also planning to implement more self-care into my day-to-day life like so:
- Practice mindfulness and meditation: Mindfulness and meditation can help calm the mind and reduce anxiety. Even just a few minutes of deep breathing or meditation can make a big difference in your mental state.
- Engage in physical activity: Exercise is a great way to reduce stress and anxiety. Even just a short walk or light exercise can help release endorphins and improve your mood.
- Practice good sleep hygiene: Getting enough sleep is important for mental health. Create a relaxing bedtime routine, avoid screens before bed, and create a comfortable sleep environment to help promote better sleep.
- Connect with others: Talking to a friend or loved one can help you feel less alone and more supported. Consider reaching out to someone you trust and sharing how you’re feeling.
- Engage in enjoyable activities: Doing things that you enjoy can help improve your mood and reduce anxiety. Whether it’s reading a book, watching a movie, or spending time with a pet, find an activity that brings you joy and make time for it.
To sum it up, everyone can think on their own’s feet. They just need to address their own specific struggle. For me, I am struggling with all four causes identified above so I need to find strategies that fit with my temperament and personality. In the next post, I will reflect on the outcome of the meeting.
